“Fast, Cheap, Good: Pick Two.”

“Was it happiness I'd found in my long marriage? Or capitulation? Or is that all happiness is, capitulation?”

“That was happiness. Not the framed greatest hits, but the moments in between. At the time, I hadn't pegged them as being particularly happy. But now, looking back at those phantom snapshots, I'm st...”

“When Here Comes the Sun started, what happened? No, the sun didnt come out, but Mom opened up like the sun breaking through the clouds. You know how in the first few notes of that song, theres some...”

“As far as Im concerned, the only thing sweeter than seeing a friend is that friend canceling on me.”

“My heart started racing, not the bad kind of heart racing, like I'm going to die. But the good kind of heart racing, like, Hello, can I help you with something? If not, please step aside because I'...”

“If we could survive without a wife, citizens of Rome, all of us would do without that nuisance; but since nature has so decreed that we cannot manage comfortably with them, nor live in any way with...”

“When we are at peace within our marriage, the effects can be astounding! We will raise happier children, become better employees, and overall find the joy in life.”

“Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.”