Quotes by Maria Semple

“Fast, Cheap, Good: Pick Two.”

“Was it happiness I'd found in my long marriage? Or capitulation? Or is that all happiness is, capitulation?”

“That was happiness. Not the framed greatest hits, but the moments in between. At the time, I hadn't pegged them as being particularly happy. But now, looking back at those phantom snapshots, I'm st...”

“Earlier this year, I'd told a mother at school I'd been married fifteen year. She asked, "What's the secret to a long marriage?" I thought for a second, then answered, "Staying married.”

“When Here Comes the Sun started, what happened? No, the sun didnt come out, but Mom opened up like the sun breaking through the clouds. You know how in the first few notes of that song, theres some...”

“As far as Im concerned, the only thing sweeter than seeing a friend is that friend canceling on me.”

“My heart started racing, not the bad kind of heart racing, like I'm going to die. But the good kind of heart racing, like, Hello, can I help you with something? If not, please step aside because I'...”

“Maybe thats what religion is, hurling yourself off a cliff and trusting that something bigger will take care of you and carry you to the right place.”

“People like you must create. If you don't create, Bernadette, you will become a menace to society.”

“I'd say I never considered myself a great architect. I'm more of a creative problem solver with good taste and a soft spot for logistical nightmares.”

“I was a ghost on a ghost ship in a ghost land”

“Every single iceberg filled me with feelings of sadness and wonder. Not thoughts of sadness and wonder, mind you, because thoughts require a thinker, and my head was a balloon, incapable of thought...”

“Every feeling I ever knew was up in that sky: Twinkling joyous sunlight; airy, giggling cloud wisps; blinding columns of sun. Orbs of gold, pink, flesh, utterly cheesy in their luminosity. Gigantic...”

“I just want to hold you close." I gave Timby a squeeze. He relaxed in my embrace. "I'm wild about you, you know that, right?""I know." He smiled up at me."You don't have to be wild about me too. Ju...”

“I know it's a lot. But she can handle it. I'd rather ruin her with the truth than ruin her with lies.”

“Your mission statement says Galer Street is based on global "connectitude." (You people don't just think outside the box, you think outside the dictionary!)”

“The penguins that spent most of their time fighting were the ones with no chicks...It's like they're supposed to be taking care of their chicks. But because they don't have any, they have nothing t...”

“The sky in Seattle is so low, it felt like God had lowered a silk parachute over us. Every feeling I ever knew was up in that sky. Twinkling joyous sunlight; airy, giggle cloud wisps; blinding colu...”

“What's this?" She pulled out a card and held it away from her face. "I can't read what it says." I took it from her and read it aloud.1. Beeber Bifocal2. Twenty Mile House3. Bee4. Your escapeFourte...”

“the most random things get her way too full of love”