“Poverty is not a disgrace, but it's terribly inconvenient”

“If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door”

“If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?”

“Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.”

“We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight.”

“A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.”

“If we could survive without a wife, citizens of Rome, all of us would do without that nuisance; but since nature has so decreed that we cannot manage comfortably with them, nor live in any way with...”

“When we are at peace within our marriage, the effects can be astounding! We will raise happier children, become better employees, and overall find the joy in life.”

“Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.”