“Still, he figured, sometimes you've got to do what you've got to do, and then sometimes you've just got to run like hell after it's done.”

“That was a good day for me," Skulduggery said. "I didn't have to hit anyone. I didn't have to shoot anyone. I just sat around and talked to my good friend and partner, Valkyrie Cain.”

“He crouched at the care window and looked in. "What a lovely family you have. What a charming family. They're all lovely. Except for that one." His finger jabbed the glass. "That one's a bit ugly."...”

“Valkyrie patted Fletchers arm. Dont worry, she said. If the bad man comes, Ill protect you.If the bad man comes, Fletcher responded, Ill bravely give out a high-pitched scream to distract him. I ma...”

“The man had a smooth voice, like velvet. Im Detective Inspector Me. Unusual name, I know. My family were incredibly narcissistic. Im lucky I escaped with any degree of humility at all, to be honest...”

“He crouched at the car window and looked in. 'What a lovely family you have. What a charming family. They're all lovely. Except for that one.' His finger jabbed the glass. 'That one's a bit ugly.”

“I swear, talking to you is like talking to a really good-looking and mildly stupid brick wall.”

“Hey, Geekoid!" yelled Duncan Dougal, "Why do you read so much? Don't you know how to watch TV?”

“The biggest mistake is trusting the wrong people who generally are also the dumbest.”

“A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”

“I've always said that idleness dulls the spirit. We have to keep the brain busy, or at least the hands if we don't have a brain.”

“If your workplace was somehow transplanted into the jungle and everyone was forced to survive at a very primitive level, it's safe to say that eventually your boss would rape you.”