“She talks like you. Its not every day you hear a four-year-old say Prince Charming is a douchebag whos only holding Cinderella back. "Thats my girl.”

“You know on TV when theres one of those awkward, shocking moments and all you hear are the crickets in the background?Well chirp fucking chirp...this is one of those moments.”

“Im well aware that thisthat Iam the first man to ever do this to her. And yes, as a guy, thatfact makes it even better.You know who Neil Armstrong is, dont you?Now tell me who the second guy was. H...”

“Dont put off till tomorrow anyone you could be doing today.”

“You cant get a reaction from someone who doesnt give a shit.”

“Vaginas beat penises every time. They're like kryptonite.Penises are defenseless against them.”

“Anyone who is willing to work and is serious about it will certainly find a job. Only you must not go to the man who tells you this, for he has no job to offer and doesn't know anyone who knows of ...”

“Choose your counsel, company and companions wisely: beware seeking wise words of advice from a fool or expecting informed opinions or decisions from the ignorant.”

“If you find it difficult to get along with your boss, try to reason with him and talk through your differences. If that doesn't work, drive him to suicide and take over the company.”

“I don't care what you say to me. I care what you share with me.”

“Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone wont either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are...”

“Never knew what a friendship was, Never knew how to really love, You can't be what I need you to, & I don't know why I fuck with you”