“If you're in the middle of a monumental and devastating life crisis, hang in there. It'll be over in about an hour. Two hours, tops.”

“You can't have a decent party for the survivors of a deadly blast without inviting the person who detonated the explosion.”

“Anyone who is willing to work and is serious about it will certainly find a job. Only you must not go to the man who tells you this, for he has no job to offer and doesn't know anyone who knows of ...”

“Choose your counsel, company and companions wisely: beware seeking wise words of advice from a fool or expecting informed opinions or decisions from the ignorant.”

“I don't care if you're black, white, straight, bisexual, gay, lesbian, short, tall, fat, skinny, rich or poor. If you're nice to me, I'll be nice to you. Simple as that.”

“I cant help but think that if she was going to kill herself, she might as well have done it earlier. Perhaps when I was a toddler. Or better yet, an infant. It certainly would have made my life eas...”

“We just wanted to see whose dick was in yer mouth. Call it curiosity.”

“Also I could hear Amandas voice: Why are you being so weak? Loves never a fair trade. So Jimmys tired of you, so what, theres guys all over the place like germs, and you can pick them like flowers ...”