“She talks like you. Its not every day you hear a four-year-old say Prince Charming is a douchebag whos only holding Cinderella back. "Thats my girl.”

“You know on TV when theres one of those awkward, shocking moments and all you hear are the crickets in the background?Well chirp fucking chirp...this is one of those moments.”

“Im well aware that thisthat Iam the first man to ever do this to her. And yes, as a guy, thatfact makes it even better.You know who Neil Armstrong is, dont you?Now tell me who the second guy was. H...”

“Dont put off till tomorrow anyone you could be doing today.”

“Vaginas beat penises every time. They're like kryptonite.Penises are defenseless against them.”

“Baby, if you let me take you out of here, Ill give the word pleasure a whole new meaning." - Drew Evans”

“With belles no longer did he fall in love,but dangled after them just anyhow;when they refused, he solaced in a twinkle;when they betrayed, was glad to rest.He would seek them without intoxication,...”

“Which do you prefer, she says. Sex or Violence?I try to smile. What's the difference, really.”

“They say philosophers and wise men are indifferent. Wrong. Indifference is a paralysis of the soul, a premature death.”

“Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that youve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you sa...”

“As he read, I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once.”

“I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there i...”

“Circumstances will change and things will be fine, just hold on a little more”

“It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.”

“The world breaks every one and afterward many are strong at the broken places.”