“She talks like you. Its not every day you hear a four-year-old say Prince Charming is a douchebag whos only holding Cinderella back. "Thats my girl.”

“You know on TV when theres one of those awkward, shocking moments and all you hear are the crickets in the background?Well chirp fucking chirp...this is one of those moments.”

“Im well aware that thisthat Iam the first man to ever do this to her. And yes, as a guy, thatfact makes it even better.You know who Neil Armstrong is, dont you?Now tell me who the second guy was. H...”

“You cant get a reaction from someone who doesnt give a shit.”

“Vaginas beat penises every time. They're like kryptonite.Penises are defenseless against them.”

“Baby, if you let me take you out of here, Ill give the word pleasure a whole new meaning." - Drew Evans”

“Good deeds are only done when there's a profit margin.”

“I set up and staged hundreds of ends-of-the-world and watched, enthralled, as they played themselves out.”

“Money is still the root of all evilYet we tell our kids don't get that degreeThe jobs don't pay enough.”

“A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”

“I've always said that idleness dulls the spirit. We have to keep the brain busy, or at least the hands if we don't have a brain.”

“If your workplace was somehow transplanted into the jungle and everyone was forced to survive at a very primitive level, it's safe to say that eventually your boss would rape you.”

“Sex can be used either for self-affirmation or for self-transcendence either to intensify the ego and consolidate the social persona by some kind of conspicuous embarkation and heroic conquest, or...”

“He didn't know all that much about how the machinery worked anyway. Such knowledge was for specialists. In war, as in love, he was a fearless, happy-go-lucky adventurer.”

“If she did experience sex--or something close to it--in high school, I'm sure it would have been less out of sexual desire or love than literary curiosity.”