“I think people would live a bit longer if they didn't know how old they were. Age puts restrictions on things.”

“The cafe was called Tattoos. The fella who owned it didn't have any tattoos... but we never saw his wife.”

“I find that if you just talk, your mouth comes up with stuff.”

“There was some women in a caf the other week that I was sat in, and she came up and she sat down with her mate and she was talkin' loudly goin' on about "oh the baby's lovely." They said it's got, ...”

“She gave me the jabs and said I was covered for every worst-case scenario, including being bitten by a dirty chimp. I told her this is why we have over-population problems. Why are idiots who annoy...”

“A dog has got human eyes.”

“I ended up in the back seat of a chicken trucks cab heading through beautiful scenery and disastrous roads to my hotel. About an hour later, we stopped to sell a few hundred of the chickens to a bu...”

“Preparing for your journey in the most thorough way possible will not diminish your experiences abroad. It will enhance them.”

“When the ancient Romans would conquer a new place or a new people, they would leave the language and the customs in tact they would even let the conquered people rule themselves in most cases, app...”

“And now that I have been scammed once, I felt like it could not happen to me again.”

“I drift like a cloud,Across these venerable eastern lands,A journey of unfathomable distances,An endless scroll of experiences...Lady Zhejiang here we must part,For the next province awaits my embr...”

“It is not power that corrupts but fear.”

“This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man.”

“I love you like a fat kid loves cake!”

“Hard work should be rewarded by good food.”