“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”

“I'll try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure.”

“It's not the men in your life that matters, it's the life in your men.”

“I never said it would be easy, I only said it would be worth it.”

“I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.”

“I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.”

“She was pleased to have him come and never sorry to see him go.”

“Ducking for apples -- change one letter and it's the story of my life.”

“The function of muscle is to pull and not to push, except in the case of the genitals and the tongue.”

“We accept the love we think we deserve.”

“All Earthquakes and Disasters are warnings theres too much corruption in the world ”

“Its only when youre at the bottom of the ladder that you ascend.”

“I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.”

“Having sex is like bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.”

“If you smile when you are alone, then you really mean it, or you're up to something.”