Quotes by Dorothy Parker

“By the time you swear you're his,Shivering and sighing.And he vows his passion is,Infinite, undying.Lady make note of this --One of you is lying.”

“In youth, it was a way I had,To do my best to please.And change, with every passing ladTo suit his theories.But now I know the things I knowAnd do the things I do,And if you do not like me so,To he...”

“ur be the things I am wiser to know:Idleness, sorrow, a friend, and a foe.Four be the things I'd been better without:Love, curiosity, freckles, and doubt.Three be the things I shall never attain:En...”

“If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first greatest, of course, is to s...”

“I won't telephone him. I'll never telephone him again as long as I live. He'll rot in hell, before I'll call him up. You don't have to give me strength, God; I have it myself. If he wanted me, he c...”

“Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it and it darts away.”

“The sun's gone dim, and the moon's gone black. For I loved him, and he didn't love back.”

“Where's the man that could ease a heart like a satin gown?”

“And if my heart be scarred and burned,The safer, I, for all I learned.”

“It serves me right for putting all my eggs in one bastard.”

“Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.”

“If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.”

“Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.”

“Don't look at me in that tone of voice.”

“I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.”

“I like to have a martini,Two at the very most.After three I'm under the table,after four I'm under my host.”

“That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.”

“Brevity is the soul of lingerie.”

“That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can't say 'No' in any of them.”

“Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.”