“Comics know that time plus pain equals humor and that we can redeem even awful moments from the past by translating them into a shared experience.”

“If anger were mileage, I'd be a very frequent flyer, right up there in First Class.”

“How about "diamonds are a girl's best friends"? Nope. It should be switched around and pointed out, instead, that your best friends are diamonds.”

“In short, immaturity is spoiled. And what is spoiled doesnt ripen. It goes bad early, gets bitter and withers on the vine.”

“To slur feminism into humanism is to usurp womens voices once again, to make the singular feminine into the so-called universal masculine.”

“Boys are rewarded for playing games where they line up by height and then run into walls. Perhaps I'm making that up--or perhaps you should do a Google search for "Guy Runs into Wall for Fun."Not o...”

“We accept the love we think we deserve.”

“All Earthquakes and Disasters are warnings theres too much corruption in the world ”

“Hes not perfect. You arent either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistak...”

“Let us dream of tomorrow where we can truly love from the soul, and know love as the ultimate truth at the heart of all creation.”

“Pride be damned, we do what must be done to survive.”

“I'd love to do comedy. And I think I have a pretty good sense of comic thing, so I'd really like to try that.”