“If you were anyone else, your nuts would be taking a long vacation, and the destination would be out of your mouth”

“Well, well, well. Tickle my Elmo ass silly. I was sitting across from a person who enjoyed talking to dead people, and if they wouldnt talk, then by God, hed just wake their corpses up instead. Nex...”

“Have you always been so refined? Your attitude and that mouth. He sucked air through his teeth and grimaced. Do you kiss your Mother with it?I answered like the smart ass he knew I was. I did befor...”

“Have you always been so refined? Your attitude and that mouth.” He sucked air through his teeth and grimaced. “Do you kiss your Mother with it?”I answered like the smart ass he knew I was. “I did b...”

“LAW 25Re-Create YourselfDo not accept the roles that society foists on you. Re-create yourself by forging a new identity, one that commands attention and never bores the audience. Be the master of ...”

“LAW 38Think As You Like But Behave Like OthersIf you make a show of going against the times, flaunting your unconventional ideas and unorthodox ways, people will think that you only want attention ...”

“The chance of the bread falling with the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.”

“Failed relationships can be described as so much wasted make-up.”

“Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.”

“Aside from the obvious, Francesca, what do you want in return for supplying information? Bones asked, getting back to the subject. You to take me, she replied at once. Not gonna happen! I spat, squ...”

“A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”

“I've always said that idleness dulls the spirit. We have to keep the brain busy, or at least the hands if we don't have a brain.”

“If your workplace was somehow transplanted into the jungle and everyone was forced to survive at a very primitive level, it's safe to say that eventually your boss would rape you.”