“Some of us feel the need to experience life before bending to the will of an arcane society.”

“In what way did your parents screw up to make you the woman you are today?”

“You have a travel vibrator, so I assume you call this one your house vibrator. Store one in your dashboard for a car vibrator too? What about your desk at work? And do they each have their own name...”

“What exactly does that expression even mean? An ass that wont quit? Think about the primary function of an assId think thats the sort of thing you might want to quit.”

“One day she was going to be found dead mid-hump on a polyurethane phallus”

“Vibrizzio? You named it! Okay, this isnt even close to healthy.”

“I wondered what happened when you offered yourself to someone, and they opened you, only to discover you were not the gift they expected and they had to smile and nod and say thank you all the same.”

“Well?" Ron said finally, looking up at Harry. "How was it?"Harry considered it for a moment. "Wet," he said truthfully.Ron made a noise that might have indicated jubilation or disgust, it was hard ...”

“People always fall in love with the most perfect aspects of each others personalities. Who wouldnt? Anybody can love the most wonderful parts of another person. But thats not the clever trick. The ...”

“A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”

“I've always said that idleness dulls the spirit. We have to keep the brain busy, or at least the hands if we don't have a brain.”

“If your workplace was somehow transplanted into the jungle and everyone was forced to survive at a very primitive level, it's safe to say that eventually your boss would rape you.”

“The seeking of a mate shall be undertaken with due preparation and care. A life-bond should never be contemplated as a light thing--unlike a legal union or sanctified joining, the sealing of souls ...”

“I dont have cookie-cutter relationships, Rumi. Women arent iPhone apps that I download and discard!”

“In advising the heads of state to learn from tragedy rather than perpetuate its existence Robert Kennedy excalimed, "Tragedy is a tool for the living to gain wisdom, not a guide by which to live." ...”