“If this is a dream, may we never wake up!”

“Don't be afraid! Hold my hand and let's jump off that cliff together. ”

“Momentary happiness is worse than permanent misery.”

“I have to convince myself every night that I love you before I go to sleep lest I wake up empty.”

“Without purpose, we're zombies aimlessly roaming the earth.”

“Once upon a time, I wish I had sneezed. The end.”

“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.”

“Don't wreck a sublime chocolate experience by feeling guilty.Chocolate isn't like premarital sex. It will not make you pregnant.And it always feels good.”

“There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate.”

“I bought a packet of Trojan Ultra Pleasure Extra Sensitive condoms: No. 1 in AMERICA. They smell nothing like a positive first sexual experience.”

“Men who refuse to use condoms do not deserve to be fucked by anyone but other men who refuse to use condoms.”

“It seemed to me, watching, that if you were dextrous enough to gift-wrap an independent-minded amphibian, you could just about manage a condom.”