29 quotes found
“The ocean is six miles deep.”
“Depression comes in bouts. Like boxing. Dad is in the blue corner.”
“I would never say snog. I would say osculate. She looks at me as if to say: why do you exist?”
“I would never say snog. I would say osculate." She looks at me as if to say: why do you exist?”
“I would never say snog. I would say osculate.” She looks at me as if to say: why do you exist?”
“Anger does not come easy to me. It is something I have to encourage, like a greyhound in second place.”
“Oh diary, I love her, I love her, I love her so much. Jordana is the most amazing person I have ever met. I could eat her. I could drink her blood. She's the only person I would allow to be shrunk ...”
“I bought a packet of Trojan Ultra Pleasure Extra Sensitive condoms: No. 1 in AMERICA. They smell nothing like a positive first sexual experience.”
“She whispers in my ear: "Tell me that you wan' fuck me hard, make me sweat." In the excitement, she misses out a word. "I want to fuck you so hard that your body drips with sweat," I say, grammatic...”
“For my last birthday, Dad bought me a pocket-sized Collins English Dictionary. It would only fit in a pocket that had been specially designed.”
“Are we making a bomb?" "This is a trust exercise, like in drama," she says. "Are we making a bomb as a trust exercise?”
“After that, we had a short conversation about how your body can sometimes seem totally separate. She said her body can feel like a distant bureaucracy controlled by telegrams from her brain, and I ...”
“I was camped at the same site as her: Broughton Farm. She came over to my tent and showed me her blisters. She asked me whether I knew the reason why a blister can keep on producing fluid ad infini...”
“Thursday morning. I usually let my Mum wake me up but today I have set my alarm for seven. Even from under my duvet, I can hear it bleating on the other side of my room. I hid it inside my plastic ...”
“My mother tells me I do not chew my food enough; she says I am making it harder for my body to get the essential nutrients it needs. If she were here, I would remind her that I am eating a blueberr...”
“I want the evening upon which we lose our collective virginities to be special. I'm no parthenologist but I suspect that Jordana's virginity is still intact. Her biological knowledge is minimal. Sh...”
“Seducing Jordana was solid she's got such high standards but when I finally got the snogs in it was all worth it." I transform Jordana's blather into high-level discourse: Lounging in a post-oscu...”
“I am one of those servants butlers usually who respectfully points out when their master is about to do something stupid: "You should probably only burn the document once the blackmail has been c...”
“We asked our Welsh teacher, Mr Llewellyn who is young, to tell us the Welsh sex words. The Welsh word for sex is rhyw. It sounds like coughing. He said that, in general, Welsh-speakers use English...”
“Oliver, weve got something to tell you, Dad says, dumping a cardboard box full of garden waste into a toad green mangler. Unlike the doctor, when Dad says we, he means we because Mum is omnipotent....”
“Problems are like top trumps. I have a pretty good card: Adulterous Mum. But Jordana's is still better: Tumour Mother.”
“The next thing Jordana says makes me realize that it's too late to save her. "I've noticed that when you light a match, the flame is the same shape as a falling tear." She's been sensitized, turned...”
