Quotes by P.G. Wodehouse

“I read the paragraph again. A peculiar feeling it gave me. I don't know if you have ever experienced the sensation of seeing the announcement of the engagement of a pal of yours to a girl whom you ...”

“Like so many substantial citizens of America, he had married young and kept on marrying, springing from blonde to blonde like the chamois of the Alps leaping from crag to crag.”

“There is only one cure for grey hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.”

“You would not enjoy Nietzsche, sir. He is fundamentally unsound.”

“In a series of events, all of which had been a bit thick, this, in his opinion, achieved the maximum of thickness.”

“It was one of those cases where you approve the broad, general principle of an idea but can't help being in a bit of a twitter at the prospect of putting it into practical effect. I explained this ...”

“As for Gussie Finknottle, many an experienced undertaker would have been deceived by his appearance and started embalming on sight.”

“What's the use of a great city having temptations if fellows don't yield to them?”

“Whenever I get that sad, depressed feeling, I go out and kill a policeman.”

“I mean to say, I know perfectly well that I've got, roughly speaking, half the amount of brain a normal bloke ought to possess. And when a girl comes along who has about twice the regular allowance...”

“It was one of the dullest speeches I ever heard. The Agee woman told us for three quarters of an hour how she came to write her beastly book, when a simple apology was all that was required.”

“A man's subconscious self is not the ideal companion. It lurks for the greater part of his life in some dark den of its own, hidden away, and emerges only to taunt and deride and increase the miser...”

“I flung open the door. I got a momentary flash of about a hundred and fifteen cats of all sizes and colours scrapping in the middle of the room, and then they all shot past me with a rush and out o...”

“Gussie, a glutton for punishment, stared at himself in the mirror.”

“The true philosopher is a man who says "All right," and goes to sleep in his armchair.”

“There are situations in life which are beyond one. The sensible man realizes this, and slides out of such situations, admitting himself beaten. Others try to grapple with them, but it never does an...”

“There is no surer foundation for a beautiful friendship than a mutual taste in literature.”

“Well, you know, there are limits to the sacred claims of friendship.”

“Great pals we've always been. In fact there was a time when I had an idea I was in love with Cynthia. However, it blew over. A dashed pretty and lively and attractive girl, mind you, but full of id...”

“The ideas of debtor and creditor as to what constitutes a good time never coincide.”