30 quotes found
“You really don't know a person until you spend some time in their panties.”
“Old-age sucks, but the alternative doesn't look that great, either.”
“He who laughs loudest has a high probability of being extremely inebriated.”
“She may be an old flame, but she still smokin'.”
“Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but tequila makes it so she doesn't give a shit if she's fond of you are not”
“In 50 years it won't matter if he's handsome, ugly, or dumb as a post, just try to find someone who don't make you want to shove a pitchfork up his nose.”
“In this town, a successful marriage is one that lasts longer than ice.”
“In the movie business, the ones we call Lucky are usually those idiots who are just too damn stubborn to take no for an answer. Come to think of it, the movie business is kind of like life.”
“There isn't much a pan of warm Brownies and a glass of milk will fix. In less it's low grain prices. Or poverty. Or the national debt. I guess there are a few things, but nothing you have to worry ...”
“Trust is important to any relationship… and easier to come by if you get a picture of a guy's wife buck naked.”
