Quotes by Lily Tomlin

“The trouble with being in the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.”

“I said "Somebody should do something about that." Then I realized I am somebody.”

“When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.”

“The road to success is always under construction”

“Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.”

“Lady, I do not make up things. That is lies. Lies are not true. But the truth could be made up if yo know how. And that's the truth.”

“To me, 'sexual freedom' means freedom from having to have sex.”

“Just remember, we're all in this alone.”

“We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.”

“Why is it that when we talk to God were said to be praying, but when God talks to us were schizophrenic?”

“Don't be afraid of missing opportunities. Behind every failure is an opportunity somebody wishes they had missed.”

“I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework.”

“I think my politics are just inclined to be empathetic and humanistic. I grew up with so many different kinds of people with different politics, different religion, no religion, no politics, educat...”

“Many times I sit back and say, 'I can't believe that this is my life!' Other times, I feel self-satisfied. I mean, there's a lot to be proud and thankful for but, nonetheless, it's just a life!”

“The best mind-altering drug is the truth.”

“If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?”

“You know being relevant or coming up with something interesting, funny to say about what's current is just as hard as it might ever be depending on the serendipity of it all.”

“I grew up in a time when women didn't really do comedy. You had to be homely, overweight, an old maid, all that. You had to play a stereotype, because very attractive women were not supposed to be ...”

“If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?”

“Sometimes I feel like a figment of my own imagination.”