Quotes by John Waters

“A psychiatrist once told me early in treatment, Stop trying to make me like you, and what a sobering and welcome smack in the face that statement was. Yet somehow, every day of my life is still a c...”

“I've had it with being nice, understanding, fair and hopeful. I feel like being negative all day. The chip on my shoulder could sink the QE2. I've got an attitude problem and nobody better get in m...”

“You should never read just for "enjoyment." Read to make yourself smarter! Less judgmental. More apt to understand your friends' insane behavior, or better yet, your own. Pick "hard books." Ones yo...”

“Our assholes will be clean but we must never wash our hands. Our immune systems will be strengthened by our being dirty. Not filthy. Just mildly grimy. Filthy fingernails have always been a favorit...”

“I always wanted to be a juvenile delinquent but my parents wouldn't let me.”

“Aren't maids the ultimate art critics?”

“Collect books, even if you don't plan on reading them right away. Nothing is more important than an unread library.”

“Do we secretly idolize our imagined opposites, yearning to become the role models for others we know we could never be for ourselves?”

“Catholics have more extreme sex lives because they're taught that pleasure is bad for you. Who thinks it's normal to kneel down to a naked man who's nailed to a cross? It's like a bad leather bar.”

“I always give books. And I always ask for books. I think you should reward people sexually for getting you books. Dont send a thank-you note, repay them with sexual activity. If the book is rare or...”

“I'm always amazed at friends who say they try to read at night in bed but always end up falling asleep. I have the opposite problem. If a book is good I can't go to sleep, and stay up way past my b...”

“I believe that if a seven-year old kid has heard of Naked Lunch and is daring enough to want to read it, hes old enough to read it.”

“Keep up with what's causing chaos in your own field.”

“When they throw the water on the witch, she says, Who would have thought a good little girl like you could destroy my beautiful wickedness. That line inspired my life. I sometimes say it to myself ...”

“If you go home with somebody, and they don't have books, don't fuck 'em!”

“It wasn't until I started reading and found books they wouldn't let us read in school that I discovered you could be insane and happy and have a good life without being like everybody else.”

“Being rich is not about how much money you have or how many homes you own it's the freedom to buy any book you want without looking at the price and wondering if you can afford it.”

“You have to remember that it is impossible to commit a crime while reading a book.”

“[W]hat I like best is staying home and reading. Being rich is not about how many homes you own. Its the freedom to pick up any book you want without looking at the price and wondering whether you c...”

“I could never kill myself. I approve of suicide if you have horrible health. Otherwise it's the ultimate hissy fit.”