“A psychiatrist once told me early in treatment, Stop trying to make me like you, and what a sobering and welcome smack in the face that statement was. Yet somehow, every day of my life is still a c...”

“I've had it with being nice, understanding, fair and hopeful. I feel like being negative all day. The chip on my shoulder could sink the QE2. I've got an attitude problem and nobody better get in m...”

“Collect books, even if you don't plan on reading them right away. Nothing is more important than an unread library.”

“Catholics have more extreme sex lives because they're taught that pleasure is bad for you. Who thinks it's normal to kneel down to a naked man who's nailed to a cross? It's like a bad leather bar.”

“I always give books. And I always ask for books. I think you should reward people sexually for getting you books. Dont send a thank-you note, repay them with sexual activity. If the book is rare or...”

“I believe that if a seven-year old kid has heard of Naked Lunch and is daring enough to want to read it, hes old enough to read it.”

“If someone were to harm my family or a friend or somebody I love, I would eat them. I might end up in jail for 500 years, but I would eat them.”

“Sometimes you know you've got a chance with a girl because she wants to fight with you. If the world wasn't so messed up, it wouldn't be like that. If the world was normal, a girl being nice to you...”

“Smirking, he says, "Whatever spell you just tried to cast on me, it didn't work, so I think you need to go back to Hogwarts.”