1,211 quotes found
“The difference between the Republicans and the Democrats is that the Democrats let the poor be corrupt, too.”
“John O'Hara was a terrible bore as a young man—always looking for a fight, and making sure he never found one.”
“Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember.”
“He writes the kind of music you whistle on the way into the theater.”
“If George is around, it will.”
“It's an advantage having a limited output. When George Gershwin is asked to play his repertoire, he plays all evening. I just play Lady Play Your Mandolin and I'm through.”
“I envy people who drink — at least they know what to blame everything on.”
“What the world needs is more geniuses with humility; there are so few of us left.”
“I am no more humble than my talents require.”
“I have given up reading books; I find it takes my mind off myself.”
“An epigram is the marriage of wit, and wisdom; a wisecrack, their divorce.”
“An alert copyreader on a newspaper couldn’t believe it when he read a reporter’s account of the theft of 2025 pigs. That’s a lot of pigs, he thought, and called the farmer to check the copy. Is it ...”
“It is the uncensored sense of humor of a people which is the ultimate therapy for man in society.”
“Many a man who falls in love with a dimple make the mistake of marrying the whole girl.”
“Play: Work that you enjoy doing for nothing.”
“Statistician: A man who believes figures don't lie, but admits that under analysis some of them won't stand up either.”
“The history of humorous writing discloses everchanging trends. Our fast-paced modern living is too impatient for the lengthy light verse and the leisurely essays of our forefathers.”
“The personal comparative is marked by epigrammatic self-satire. It implies that everyone thinks himself better than anyone else, but only the egoist says so.”
“When Marilyn Monroe, the American Venus, visited England, one London correspondent wrote that she looked like a million dollars. Fortunately, he did not write that she looked like a million pounds.”
“Zoo: An excellent place to study the habits of human beings.”
