“Many a man who falls in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.”

“Zoo: An excellent lace to study the habits of human beings”

“Conscience is what makes a boy tell his mother before his sister does.”

“America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.”

“Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn't done it.”

“The quizzical expression of the monkey at the zoo comes from his wondering whether he is his brother's keeper or his keeper's brother.”