Quotes by Ellen Bass

“to love life, to love it evenwhen you have no stomach for itand everything you've held dearcrumbles like burnt paper in your hands,your throat filled with the silt of it.When grief sits with you, i...”

“This choreography of ruin, the world breakinglike glass under a microscope,the way it doesnt crack all at once,but spreads out from the damaged cavities.Still for a moment it all recedes.The backya...”

“Healing isnt just about pain. Its about learning to love yourself. As you move from feeling like a victim to being a proud survivor, you will have glimmers of hope, pride and satisfaction. Those ar...”

“In spite of the horror, in spite of the tragedy, in spite of the weeks of sleepless nights, I'm finally alive. I'm not pretending. I feel real. I'm not playing charades anymore. I wouldn't go back ...”

“... it is possible to heal. It is even possible to thrive. Thriving means more than just an alleviation of symptoms, more than Band-Aids, more than functioning adequately. Thriving means enjoying a...”

“So often survivors have had their experiences denied, trivialized, or distorted. Writing is an important avenue for healing because it gives you the opportunity to define your own reality. You can ...”

“You have the right to set ground rules. This means deciding if, when, and how you want to see the people in your family. Many survivors feel that if they open up the channels at all, they have to o...”

“If You KnewWhat if you knew you'd be the lastto touch someone?If you were taking tickets, for example,at the theater, tearing them,giving back the ragged stubs,you might take care to touch that pal...”

“People dont need to be forced to grow. All we need is favorable circumstances: respect, love, honesty, and the space to explore.”

“I know you're in a world of pain, but that pain will lessen. At the beginning you can't see that. You can only see your pain and you think it will never go away.But the nature of pain is that it ch...”

“If youve managed to do one good thing,the ocean doesnt care.But when Newtons applefell toward the earth,the earth, ever so slightly, felltoward the apple as well.”

“There is comfort in knowing that you dont have to pretend anymore, that you are going to do everything within your power to heal.”

“Healing was a terrifying and painful experience and my life was as full of struggle and heartache as it had always been. Several years after I started therapy, I began to feel happy. I was stunned....”

“Deciding to actively heal is terrifying because it means opening up to hope. For many survivors, hope has brought only disappointment.Although it is terrifying to say yes to yourself, it is also a ...”

“As you heal, you see yourself more realistically. You accept that you are a person with strengths and weaknesses. You make the changes you can in your life and let go of the things that arent in yo...”

“the dolphins stitch sky to sea.”

“As survivors, weve been conditioned to be victims sexually. Many of us have never learned to say no or to set limits on our sexual activities...To heal, its important that we take control, that we ...”

“Survivors are often good at both resolving and generating crisis. While this capacity to handle crisis can make you a good emergency room worker or ambulance driver, it can also be a way for you to...”

“Thinking for yourself and making your own decisions can be frightening. Letting go of other peoples expectations can leave you feeling empty for a time. And yet seeing yourself as an independent ad...”

“To heal from child sexual abuse you must believe that you were a victim, that the abuse really did take place. This is often difficult for survivors. When youve spent your life denying the reality ...”