1,818 quotes found
“How do you tactfully spin the term “man-whore” to someone’s sister?”
“Now see, if it were me, I wouldn’t have led with that. I would’ve gone with something like ‘G’day’ or ‘Wow, aren’t you a little hottie?”
“You dance?”“I think that might be overly optimistic,” he said. “I do something. I’ll try not to hurt you.”
“Honey, I have a feeling he doesn’t think of you as a friend. Have you seen the way he looks at you?”She glanced at him and as if he could feel her gaze, he turned his eyes on her. Soft and hard all...”
“That’s the thing you girls never get. It doesn't matter if you just woke up, or just got done bawling, or just finished your make-up. When a guy’s all love-sick over a chick, she looks exactly the ...”
“You’re a good date,” he said.“You thought of it as a date?”He nodded. “From the beginning.”
“I’ll always be your friend,” he said. “Your best friend, if you let me. But I want to be your lover, too.” He groaned and shifted in his chair. “Soon. I want to be that soon.” Then a look came over...”
“I’m busy trying not to look like anything edible.”
“First, I’d like to point out that I didn’t use ‘one of mine.’ You refused to let me pay for my ice cream cone with a good ol’ fashioned credit card, and you forced your pretend money on me. Secondl...”
“Don’t make me Alice-nap you, Alice. Because you know I can carry you.”
“I use the word “man” loosely. A better description would be “the most beautiful specimen of Homo sapiens sapiens with a set of XY chromosomes to grace the planet Earth at this moment, or any other ...”
“The line from Pulp Fiction—the one Samuel L. Jackson shouts at John Travolta as they’re trying to wash blood off their hands—pops into my head: 'I used the same soap you did and when I dried my han...”
“When she reaches down to touch his shoulder—a gesture only a few species and a million or so years removed from lifting a leg and marking him as her territory with a stream of urine—enough bracelet...”
“Do you really think I’d let him call my sister a ‘bitch?’ Or you for that matter? Talon Hawk’s dumb, but he’s smarter than that…he’d be crawling around on his hands and knees picking his teeth off ...”
“I’m almost afraid to tell you. Let’s put it this way: clean toilets are the least of your problems in this country.”
“I’ve found that lifting the lid with your foot is the most thorough and least gross path to two minutes of peace of mind.”
“. I’ve watched about a dozen tourists almost get hit by cars since I’ve been here. I barely made it to the beach alive the other day. I mean, no one knows what they’re doing. They swing their heads...”
“Because trying to think of how to ask a woman you’ve known for exactly two days if she’d be willing to get into a car with you and take a road trip across the country was something I hadn’t quite w...”
“Mouse likes to drag you to uninhabited areas with no cell signal—all those places perfect for dying of exposure.”
“Don’t take this the wrong way, but Australians have a LOT of bitches on their cashola.”
