1,564 quotes found
“All Chelsea's internet dates were gorgeous. Until she met them.”
“They were like animals, men. They found too much eye contact threatening.”
“Steerpike of the Many Problems,” said the Doctor. “What did you say they were? My memory is so very untrustworthy. It’s as fickle as a fox. Ask me to name the third lateral bloodvessel from the ext...”
“Almost anyone who loves tennis and follows the men’s tour on television has, over the last few years, had what might be termed Federer Moments. These are times, watching the young Swiss at play, wh...”
“The kangaroo has a double penis - one for week days and one for holidays.”
“When Jan was called up to service a fourth time...my mother waited outside...the two of them were convinced that this time Jan would have to go, that they would surely send him off to cure his aili...”
“Three times Jan had been called to the colours (the army), but each time had been deferred because of his deplorable physical condition..when every male who could stand halfway erect was being ship...”
“Gregor was a real drinker..he didn't drink because he was sad..(or) cheerful. He drank because he was a thorough man, who like to get to the bottom of things, of bottles as well as everything else.”
“Colonel Talbot? he is a very disagreeable person, to be sure. He looks as if he thought no Scottish woman worth the trouble of handing her a cup of tea.”
“You know, I once read a book about people who practiced polygamy. One man with several wives. Crazy. I was just in a room with eight very unhappy woman and I have no idea why anyone would choose that.”
“Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast”
“He was the guy who always won the game of chicken because his opponents suspected he might actually enjoy a head-on collision.”
“It’s so nice to see you again,” he said. He spoke as though it had been a while, and I nodded in agreement. As I’d assured Stanton, Adrian knew too much familiarity between us might create a trail ...”
“I have a sneaking suspicion that you’re not 100% committed to your Oreo diet.”
“I don't think you have talent!! But... I guess Fuuka will do.I have no choice!”
“It's easier to get philosophers to agree than clocks.”
“Never worry if you’re excluded from the circle, sometimes it’s full of squares.”
“I can't believe there's a part of you that grows when you need it. You're like a mutant.""I'm a vampire," Baz says, "and can you hear yourself?”
“The decker these ***holes brought with them is top tier, but I'm going to stomp his jelly beans so hard his kids will be born crooked.”
“Dawson!” Ash yelled from below. “What are you doing? Stop! Do something, Adam!”Adam’s laugh followed. “Someone needed to put Andrew in his place. I always figured it would be Daemon. Who knew.”
