“Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage.”

“Fear has no brains it is an idiot. The dismal witness that it bears and the cowardly counsel that it whispers are unrelated. ”

“Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.”

“You don't have to be stupid to be a Christian, ... but it probably helps.”

“The covers of this book are too far apart.”

“Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.”

“There is no amount of bad karma that can compete with a contrite spirit and God's forgiveness.”

“To properly do penance one must express contrition for ones sins and perform acts to repair the damage caused by those transgressions. It is only when those acts are complete that the slate can tru...”

“To properly do penance one must express contrition for one’s sins and perform acts to repair the damage caused by those transgressions. It is only when those acts are complete that the slate can tr...”

“He was, however, unable to give much prolonged or continuous thought to anything that evening , or to concentrate on any one idea; and anyway, even if he had been able to, he would not have found h...”

“Nature can counsel nothing but crime.”

“A criminal remains a criminal whether he uses a convict's suit or a monarch's crown.”

“A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”

“I've always said that idleness dulls the spirit. We have to keep the brain busy, or at least the hands if we don't have a brain.”

“If your workplace was somehow transplanted into the jungle and everyone was forced to survive at a very primitive level, it's safe to say that eventually your boss would rape you.”