“Many a man who falls in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.”

“Conscience is what makes a boy tell his mother before his sister does.”

“America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.”

“Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn't done it.”

“The quizzical expression of the monkey at the zoo comes from his wondering whether he is his brother's keeper or his keeper's brother.”

“Canada's climate is nine months winter and three months late in the fall.”

“We are human only in contact, and conviviality, with what is not human.”

“The problem is this: nature has assembled all these species on this planet. The human species is no more important than any other species on this planet. For some reason, man accorded himself a sup...”

“More than the disappearing trees and roses, its the human tendency to suppress the Natural Voice of the Natures Man which is sorrowful.”

“A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”

“I've always said that idleness dulls the spirit. We have to keep the brain busy, or at least the hands if we don't have a brain.”

“If your workplace was somehow transplanted into the jungle and everyone was forced to survive at a very primitive level, it's safe to say that eventually your boss would rape you.”