“What exactly does that expression mean, 'friends with benefits'? Does he provide her with health insurance?”

“Is my coitus whimsically inventive?”

“I won't say that all senior citizens who can't master technology should be publicly flogged, but if we made an example of one or two, it might give the others incentive to try harder.”

“According to the rules of comedy, your suffering will be funny after an undetermined length of time. Maybe not while you're having your gangrenous leg sawed off, watching your home burn down or lea...”

“For the record, I do have genitals; and they are functional and aesthetically pleasing.”

“I believe that the Laws of Karma do not apply to show business, where good things happen to bad people on a fairly regular basis.”