“If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody come sit next to me.”

“You can't make a souffle rise twice.”

“Dorothy is the only woman in history who has had her menopause in public and made it pay.”

“He looks as though he's been weaned on a pickle.”

“I have a simple philosophy: Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. Scratch where it itches.”

“My father always wanted to be the corpse at every funeral, the bride at every wedding and the baby at every christening.”