“Why does everyone think the future is space helmets, silver foil, and talking like computers, like a bad episode of Star Trek?”

“I'm as famous as I want to be.”

“As I get older, I just prefer to knit.”

“I think serial monogamy says it all.”

“Personally I think any more than two or three kids is not a family it's a litter.”

“As soon as you find the key to success somebody always changes the lock.”

“When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.”

“Here we have a baby. It is composed of a bald head and a pair of lungs.”

“Men will now get up and walk with the baby in the middle of the night change its diapers and give it a bottle but in their heart of hearts they still think they shouldn't have to.”