“The Baron was good with two things: sex, and death. And what was sex anywaywhat was orgasm but what the French (those cunning linguists of the language of love) referred to as a Little Death? What ...”

“If theres anything in life thats an undisputed fact, its this: Buildings with strange symbols carved in their lintels are bad news. You rarely find symbols leading to unicorns and fields of candyan...”

“Awkward conversations. Theyre the heart of the drug trade. The driving force that keeps criminals out of jail is paranoia. You can think you know people, but the truth is, you never know who theyre...”

“So, if the zombies are coming to town, why exactly are we coming back here?Dont call them that.But they areNo, theyre not. Theyre mutants or science gone awry orsomething. Anything but zombies. How...”

“Little is known about the love lives of the undead. Really, past the brain-eating, reanimated corpse angle, not much is said for the zombies perspective. So they ate brainsbig deal! Sure, they were...”

“There are probably more of us. If were all zombies, thentheres got to be more. I say we go up to the cemetery and find out.Can we get soda on the way?Nothing washes down brains better than a can of...”

“A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”

“I've always said that idleness dulls the spirit. We have to keep the brain busy, or at least the hands if we don't have a brain.”

“If your workplace was somehow transplanted into the jungle and everyone was forced to survive at a very primitive level, it's safe to say that eventually your boss would rape you.”

“Are we all just Dark Age doctors, swearing by our leeches? We crave a greater science. We want to be proven wrong.”

“I'm watching her talk. Watching her jaw move and collecting her words one by one as they spill from her lips. I don't deserve them. Her warm memories. I'd like to paint them over the bare plaster w...”

“Zombies can't believe the energy we waste on nonfood pursuits.”