“Boys. I'd turn gay if they weren't so sexy. ”

“Don't run I never liked fast food”

“Married and buried, wed and dead.”

“Now we're in the middle of a three-sided vampire war. Which would be an awesome video game, but I'm really not interested in playing for real. I like my reset buttons.”

“He dunked his tea bag and watched the results critically. I really must get a new supplier. This tea is pathetic. America just doesnt understand tea at all.”

“Want to play baseball? she asked. Shanes eyes opened, and he stopped stroking her hair. What? First base, she said. Youre already there. Im not running the bases. Well, you could at least steal sec...”

“See?" she heard Shane yell at the kitchen. "She doesn't stomp around like a cattle stampede!""Bite me, Collins! No bacon for you, either!”

“If Myrnin pokes his crazy head up before then, call me and try to keep him, you know, stable.''Is he UNstable?''I don't know, how can I tell? You're the crazy whisperer!'She had a point. Claire cou...”

“Get in here and make me some dinnernow, woman.""News flash, Michael, you're supposed to be evil, not redneck!”

“When he worked, he really worked. But when he played, he really PLAYED.”

“Back in the days when gladiators hacked away at each other, there was always the man who decided whether the defeated should live or die. The job is usually given to the Emperor in movies, but in f...”

“Pursuing fun is exhausting. Having fun is just fun. Much more relaxing just to do your work, don't you think? I mean if you enjoy it.”