“Boys. I'd turn gay if they weren't so sexy. ”

“Don't run I never liked fast food”

“Married and buried, wed and dead.”

“Now we're in the middle of a three-sided vampire war. Which would be an awesome video game, but I'm really not interested in playing for real. I like my reset buttons.”

“He dunked his tea bag and watched the results critically. I really must get a new supplier. This tea is pathetic. America just doesnt understand tea at all.”

“Want to play baseball? she asked. Shanes eyes opened, and he stopped stroking her hair. What? First base, she said. Youre already there. Im not running the bases. Well, you could at least steal sec...”

“Once, Turner had himself lashed to the mast of a ship for several hours, during a furious storm, so that he could later paint the storm. Obviously, it was not the storm itself that Turner intended ...”

“Let's say that it belong to me as much as it belongs to anyone alive today. If I am, strictly speaking, living. The old word was undead, you know, but aren't all living things undead. I dislike imp...”

“Now we're in the middle of a three-sided vampire war. Which would be an awesome video game, but I'm really not interested in playing for real. I like my reset buttons.”

“She needs you for more than just protection. It's how it works. You want the strong girl, you understand that she's with you because she wants to be. Not because she has to be. You know that, right?”

“In real life, you don't get a reset, and you don't get extra lives, and I got the crap pounded out of me.”

“In order to remain undead, I must steal the life force of someone whose fate matters less to me than my own.' I've always supposed that Wall Street traders utter essentially the same sentence.”

“He was drop-dead gorgeous and I, well I was just ... dead." (Tera Hightower, Dead Chick Walking)”

“I will not negotiate with the undead!”