“We worked side by side building our sandwiches. Mine, just a few modest layers of meat and cheese, with a bit of lettuce for some added crunchiness; his, a Dagwood, piled high with turkey, ham, sal...”

“its okay if college isnt your thing. Im sure theres a pole somewhere with your name on it, but next time you might not want to buy your tits off Craigs List. Just sayin.”

“He was a beautiful pagan god with the voice of a serial killer, but that didnt make him any less god like. It just meant rather than dying in some dank basement or isolated cabin, Id die bound on a...”

“He was a beautiful pagan god with the voice of a serial killer, but that didn’t make him any less god like. It just meant rather than dying in some dank basement or isolated cabin, I’d die bound on...”

“We didn't, after all, sing "Another One Bites The Dust" as the coffin was carried out; Hazel and the vicar had settled instead on the more traditional "How Great Thou Art". And Aunty Rose's old adv...”

“For all the awkward girls that think theyre alone.Youre not.”

“Trina stared into her open kitchen cabinets. She was two and a half days into her pre-date-night ritual fast, and she was about to crack. Technically, she wasnt going out on a date Saturday night, ...”

“She was an idiot. An adorable, gorgeous, feisty, funny, sweet, sexy idiot.”

“Did you miss me?A little bit, she said with a shrug.You have tears running down your cheeks, he said with a grin. I think you missed me more than a little.”

“I don't know what the future holds. I only know that I want to be with you. You and me. Everything else is negotiable.”

“A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”

“I've always said that idleness dulls the spirit. We have to keep the brain busy, or at least the hands if we don't have a brain.”

“If your workplace was somehow transplanted into the jungle and everyone was forced to survive at a very primitive level, it's safe to say that eventually your boss would rape you.”