“Experience is a dim lamp, which only lights the one who bears it.”

“One can't relive one's life. Forgiveness is not what's difficult; one's always too ready to forgive. And it does no good, that's obvious.”

“If you aren't rich you should always look useful.”

“History doesn't pass the dishes again.”

“I have never voted in my life... I have always known and understood that the idiots are in a majority so it's certain they will win.”

“The rich don't have to kill to eat. They employ people, as they call it. The rich don't do evil themselves. They pay. People do all they can to please them, and everybody's happy.”

“People don't deserve the restraint we show by not going into delirium in front of them.”

“Would somebody please tell him whose idea it had been to kill the entire state of Colorado?”

“...the only thing that could justify your continuing existence on the planet would be if you started breathing carbon dioxide and exhaling oxygen.”

“To be of value to humanity, start by thinking for yourself.”

“Love is not an emotion. It is your very existence.”

“The General belonged to the learned type of military men who believed that liberal and humane views can be reconciled with their profession. But being by nature a kind and intelligent man, he soon ...”

“A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”

“I've always said that idleness dulls the spirit. We have to keep the brain busy, or at least the hands if we don't have a brain.”

“If your workplace was somehow transplanted into the jungle and everyone was forced to survive at a very primitive level, it's safe to say that eventually your boss would rape you.”