“Having children is like living in a frat house - nobody sleeps, everything's broken, and there's a lot of throwing up.”

“My wife gets all the money I make. I just get an apple and clean clothes every morning.”

“If my father had hugged me even once, I'd be an accountant right now.”

“Right after 'Raymond' I had a world-is-my-oyster attitude, but I found out I don't like oysters. I had this existential emptiness. 'What is my purpose? Who am I?' I had a big identity crisis.”

“The comics that are just conversing with you up there and drawing on their own life, yeah, I guess so. I guess some do political humor, some do topical humor, but the ones that I like, the ones tha...”

“I'd rather be in Las Vegas 104 degrees than New York 90 degrees, you know why? Legalized prostitution. In any weather that takes the edge off.”

“As far as Im concerned, eighteen holes of golf is the only happiness that money can buy. - Momofuku Ando”

“It was a morning when all nature shouted "Fore!" The breeze, as it blew gently up from the valley, seemed to bring a message of hope and cheer, whispering of chip-shots holed and brassies landing s...”

“I hope you're golfing today.”

“The only person who needs to know about failure is yourself.”

“I have tried every diet to lose weight. When you restrict yourself, you're setting yourself up for failure.”

“We've all experienced those days when we feel like an absolute failure. It's a normal feeling when things don't go as exactly planned. And, when we feel like that, it's challenging to think of your...”

“Life has but one true charm: the charm of the game. But what if were indifferent to whether we win or lose?”

“Be the music of your soul. Don't be a pawn in someone else's game.”

“His Presbyterian minster father had believed in a divine design, and Mozasu believed that life was like this game where the player could adjust the dials yet also expect the uncertainty of factors ...”