“Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage.”

“Fear has no brains it is an idiot. The dismal witness that it bears and the cowardly counsel that it whispers are unrelated. ”

“Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.”

“You don't have to be stupid to be a Christian, ... but it probably helps.”

“The covers of this book are too far apart.”

“Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.”

“I have to return some videotapes”

“In the present case it is a little inaccurate to say I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible to any public off...”

“...[G]reat progress was evident in the last Congress of the American 'Labour Union' in that among other things, it treated working women with complete equality. While in this respect the English, a...”

“There ain't no way you can hold onto something that wants to go, you understand? You can only love what you got while you got it.”

“Every time we make the decision to love someone, we open ourselves to great suffering, because those we most love cause us not only great joy but also great pain. The greatest pain comes from leavi...”

“I love you. I love you. I send this message through my fingers and into his, up his arm and into his heart. Hear me. I love you. And I'm sorry to leave you.”