“I had the most boring office job in the world...I used to clean the windows on envelopes.”

“Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.”

“I love to sleep. Do you? Isn't it great? It really is the best of both worlds. You get to be alive and unconscious.”

“I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.”

“Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.”

“A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.”

“Higher-level capture devices, because they are complicated and involve novel applications of new technologies, tend to fail in unexpected ways. Thus, only after some years was it realized that Hot ...”

“Winning isn't everything--but wanting to win is.”

“Baseball is only a game, a game of inches and a lot of luck. During a time of all-out war, sports are very insignificant.”