“She claims she just turned thirty but it must have been a U-turn!”

“He is at an age that whenever a pretty girl smiles at him he immediately looks down to see what is unzipped.”

“For him any wine dated before four o'clock in the afternoon is vintage.”

“Let's toast a real wine expert - someone who knows a good rose goes best with bologna sandwiches.”

“Here's a toast to someone who's truly a best friend - a person who goes around telling good things behind your back.”

“She is such a health food nut she thinks a grape is wine in pill form.”

“Tax not so bad a voice to slander music any more than once.”

“Difficult do you call it, Sir? I wish it were impossible. [on hearing a famous violinist]”

“He'd call me false and faithless and I've always had a weakness for those two words; next to cruel, they're the nicest words for a woman to hear, and not so hard to earn.”