“He is at an age that whenever a pretty girl smiles at him he immediately looks down to see what is unzipped.”

“For him any wine dated before four o'clock in the afternoon is vintage.”

“Let's toast a real wine expert - someone who knows a good rose goes best with bologna sandwiches.”

“Here's a toast to someone who's truly a best friend - a person who goes around telling good things behind your back.”

“She is such a health food nut she thinks a grape is wine in pill form.”

“The only way she could get a standing ovation would be if she sang "The Star-Spangled Banner."”

“Like almost all girls I don't know the date of my birth: my parents did not trouble to record the day and the time. I only know the year and the season, and I only know the season because my mother...”

“Birthday is a sacred-life celebration.”

“But I get it; it's a way to mark time. When your life's too busy, it forces you to check in with yourself. Or when it feels all the same all the time, maybe it can make you feel special.”

“The land of easy mathematics where he who works adds up and he who retires subtracts.”

“At the age of 45, most days in Tucson were spent feeling like I was on the summit of Mauna Kea, as I was exhibiting debilitating health symptoms that corresponded to what I saw at very high altitud...”

“The hour is only long thus, if you've waited.”