“Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?”

“I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.”

“Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.”

“Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.”

“No doubt exists that all women are crazy it's only a question of degree.”

“Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch.”

“When one gathers all the books of all worldly religions, when one beholds (dharan) them, then the phenomenon of religious upholding (dharma dharan) occurs. When that religious upholding becomes 100...”

“You can be drunk on wine.You can be drunk on success.I'm just drunk on the success of my wine.”

“We will drink what we thirst for and eat what we hunger for if we allow ourselves to be used for what we were created for!”

“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so?There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.”

“Be wary of strong drink, it can make you shoot at the tax collector...and miss.”

“In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.”