“Give little people a little power, and it goes straight to their ugly, little heads. -Foot talks about authority”

“I swear if Washington moved any slower, we could be at war and it would all be over before they could even lift their sluggish, naked, dead asses off of their comfortable heated-seat toilets. -Fitz...”

“An elementary school student asked me the NOT politically correct question, Is an idiot smarter than a moron? I had to Google it because I was afraid to respond in todays PC society and didnt want ...”

“have you always been a jackass or is that something youve just recently acquired at the I Want to be a Junior Jackass store? -Weasel to Army Lieutenant”

“My name is Richard Werner. Dick. You can call me Dick.”

“An elementary school student asked me the NOT “politically correct” question, “Is an idiot smarter than a moron?” I had to Google it because I was afraid to respond in today’s PC society and didn’t...”

“Judging by the sounds of general panic, I want a gun like that.”

“You can get much further with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.”

“I shouted into the phone, but there was no reply. Silence floated up from the receiver like smoke from the mouth of a gun.”

“Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.”

“Sports can't be run by governments.”

“You can't just let nature run wild.”