“Wanted: Steel toed Bible thumpers to reach a monster truck mad world.”

“I recommend you don't attend the wheat and chaff bonfire.”

“I was a lazy reader as a kid. One nutrition label on a box of Capn Crunch and Id have to take a nap.”

“I was a lazy reader as a kid. One nutrition label on a box of Cap’n Crunch and I’d have to take a nap.”

“You dont need a stage to prove that youre a bad speaker.”

“Don't worry if you've been labeled as weird. Who wants to be classed as normal in an insane world?”

“Guess it's high time we add the 8th vow in marriage promising that we shall spend time with our husband or wife more than with social networking sites!”

“Like most bad ideas, it started with alcohol.”

“Wisdom of the Ages: "Soylent Green" No matter how many times I see that movie, I still get a hankerin' for a Big Mac.”

“So this is what men are like. Well, that's it, then - I am going to be a lesbian.”