“Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.”

“A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.”

“Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you.”

“Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you.”

“If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigerator are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at all.”

“I want to die like my grandfather died . . . peacefully in his sleep. Not like the other three people screaming in the car.”

“I don't like work--no man does--but I like what is in the work--the chance to find yourself. Your own reality--for yourself not for others--what no other man can ever know. They can only see the me...”

“Pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work.”

“Earning happiness means doing good and working, not speculating and being lazy. Laziness may look inviting, but only work gives you true satisfaction.”

“I avoid that bleak first hour of the working day during which my still sluggish senses and body make every chore a penance. I find that in arriving later, the work which I do perform is of a much h...”

“How did it get so late so soon? It's night before it's afternoon. December is here before it's June. My goodness how the time has flewn. How did it get so late so soon?”

“If you want to know the value of a minute ask the person who came to the train station or airport a minute late.”

“If you can pick the baby up without him squirting our of your hands like a bar of soap in the shower, he's not oiled up enough.”

“The oil companies regard nuclear power as their rival, who will reduce their profits, so they put out a lot of disinformation about nuclear power.”

“We aren't addicted to oil, but our cars are.”