“They say that 'Guns don't kill people, people kill people.' Well I think the gun helps. If you just stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.”

“I had the luxury of knowing what I wanted to do. So I just sat on the bed and came up with a plan for myself:"I have to go to the Edinburgh Fringe. But I don't have the confidence to do a productio...”

“So the American government lied to the Native Americans for many, many years, and then President Clinton lied about a relationship, and everyone was surprised! A little nave, I feel!”

“It wasn't until I was an adult that I realized you could buy a packet of cereal with a free gift and then just stick your hand in and root around in the packet until you found the free thing. It se...”

“If you are an LGBT+ person and you come out, you have to go through your knights quest to create ground for yourself, to create a space for yourself, to stand there and say, I exist. I have no reas...”

“Boy bands should be exploded from a great height. They're just pretty people singing music written by others.”

“I had the privilege of being able to choose, or at least have the opportunity to work at, being anything but an actor.”

“If you don't interfere with me, I'll always do something really good.”

“Never give all the heart, for loveWill hardly seem worth thinking ofTo passionate women if it seemCertain, and they never dreamThat it fades out from kiss to kiss;For everything that's lovely isBut...”

“Some days it is a heroic act just to refuse the paralysis of fear and straighten up and step into another day.”

“Only the gentle are ever really strong.”

“Before You Begin Writing Your Book, Ask Yourself A Very Important Question: What Kind of Results Do I Plan To Receive From Writing This Book? If You Say Money, Then Don't Bother Even Writing The Book.”

“There is no greater power than that of a laugh and happiness is a force which can save a person from the horrors of the world.”

“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”

“The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.”