“In awe, I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the heavens like an ambered chariot towards the ebony void of infinite space wherein the tethered belts of Jupiter and Mars hang, for eve...”

“My mother-in-law has come round to our house at Christmas seven years running. This year we're having a change. We're going to let her in.”

“I've got a friend who is a lion tamer. He used to be a school teacher till he lost his nerve.”

“I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.”

“The mother-in-law came round last week. It was absolutely pouring down. So I opened the door and I saw her there and I said, 'Mother, don't just stand there in the rain. Go home.'”

“My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex she objects.”

“The more clearly you understand yourself and your emotions, the more you become a lover of what is.”

“There are only two ways to live your life: as though nothing is a miracle, or as though everything is a miracle.”

“The moral of the tale is, don't live for the approval of others. The real you is here to find out the secret of life, not to satisfy someone else's opinion.”

“There is a personal sacrifice required to realize Gods passion”

“Personal Responsibility is the state of being the person who caused something to happen.”

“Writing is hard work. Attempting to write a decent story is friggin exhausting!”

“Let's chew on the chewables!”