Quotes by Les Dawson

10 quotes found

Comedian · English · 1931–1993

English comedian (1931–1993)

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Popular Quotes

“My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex she objects.”

“I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.”

“I've got a friend who is a lion tamer. He used to be a school teacher till he lost his nerve.”

“My mother-in-law said, 'One day I will dance on your grave.' I said 'I hope you do; I will be buried at sea.'”

Common Themes

“In awe, I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the heavens like an ambered chariot towards the ebony void of infinite space wherein the tethered belts of Jupiter and Mars hang, for eve...”

— Les Dawson

Thought Moon Ride

“My mother-in-law has come round to our house at Christmas seven years running. This year we're having a change. We're going to let her in.”

— Les Dawson

Change Her House

“I've got a friend who is a lion tamer. He used to be a school teacher till he lost his nerve.”

— Les Dawson

School Lion Lost

“I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.”

— Les Dawson

Living Furniture Sell

“How can you analyse what is funny? What's funny to one isn't funny to another... What's funny to you is a personal thing.”

— Les Dawson

You Personal Analyse

“The mother-in-law came round last week. It was absolutely pouring down. So I opened the door and I saw her there and I said, 'Mother, don't just stand there in the rain. Go home.'”

— Les Dawson

Rain Mother Door

“My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex she objects.”

— Les Dawson

humorous

“My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex she objects.”

— Les Dawson

passion

“My mother-in-law said, 'One day I will dance on your grave.' I said 'I hope you do; I will be buried at sea.'”

— Les Dawson

Day Dance Sea

“My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex she objects.”