“My mother-in-law has come round to our house at Christmas seven years running. This year we're having a change. We're going to let her in.”

“I've got a friend who is a lion tamer. He used to be a school teacher till he lost his nerve.”

“I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.”

“How can you analyse what is funny? What's funny to one isn't funny to another... What's funny to you is a personal thing.”

“The mother-in-law came round last week. It was absolutely pouring down. So I opened the door and I saw her there and I said, 'Mother, don't just stand there in the rain. Go home.'”

“My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex she objects.”

“A man is not idle because he is absorbed in thought. There is visible labor and there is invisible labor.”

“If only [people] understood that every thought is both false and true! False by one-sidenedness resulting from man's inability to embrace the whole truth, and true as an expression of one fact of h...”

“Ihr redet, wenn ihr aufhrt mit euren Gedanken in Frieden zu sein.”

“So imagine that the lovely moon is playing just for you - everything makes music if you really want it to.”

“I swear that girl was born with a pen in her hand, the moon in her hair and stars in her soul.”

“We ran as if to meet the moon.”

“I'm trying to mix the cool, independent stuff with the big stuff, but it's been difficult finding the right roles. It's been an interesting ride as far as my career pendulum is concerned.”

“I ride my bike, I work out, I do a bit of, er, dancey things.”

“Architecture is a ride - a physical ride and an intellectual ride.”