“With my sunglasses on, I'm Jack Nicholson. Without them, I'm fat and 60.-Jack Nicholson”

“I think that's what distinguishes Schmidt, really. In the movies now, so much of what is appealing to an audience is the dramatic or has to do with science fiction, and Schmidt is simply human. The...”

“The minute that you're not learning I believe you're dead.”

“If men are honest, everything they do and everywhere they go is for a chance to see women.”

“My motto is: more good times.”

“Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world.”

“I am not an angel,' I asserted; 'and I will not be one till I die: I will be myself. Mr. Rochester, you must neither expect nor exact anything celestial of me - for you will not get it, any more th...”

“Finally, I applied to one of my roommates, more sagacious than the rest, for advice. Dave, I said. Im broke and without prospects. Ive blown my GI Bill on flying lessons. I cant hide out here in co...”

“Top 15 Things Money Cant BuyTime. Happiness. Inner Peace. Integrity. Love. Character. Manners. Health. Respect. Morals. Trust. Patience. Class. Common sense. Dignity.”

“I shiver, thinking how easy it is to be totally wrong about people-to see one tiny part of them and confuse it for the whole, to see the cause and think it's the effect or vice versa”

“At sunrise everything is luminous but not clear.”

“I think it's impossible to really understand somebody, what they want, what they believe, and not love them the way they love themselves.”

“Do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight.”

“The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat.”

“When I get logical, and I don't trust my instincts - that's when I get in trouble.”